


In A Perfect World...

by nanuk_dain



Series: Drift Compatible [35]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Drift-Dream, Drifting, Family, M/M, Team Hot Dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4590720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Herc engages in a drift with Stacker - while the latter is still in a coma. It's interesting, to say the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In A Perfect World...

_Hong Kong Shatterdome, 18th January 2025_

 

Mako meets him in the elevator again. Herc's still wondering how she does it, her perfect timing. 

She gives a little bow in greeting, and Herc nods with a smile that she returns. They've become closer since Operation Pitfall. Herc wonders if it's maybe their shared love and worry for Stacker that brought them closer, combined with working closely together to keep the PPDC running - and out of the claws of the UN. 

Mako has grown up. Maybe 'grown up' isn't the right term, she's always been responsible and reliable and way too grown up for her young age, Herc thinks with a tinge of regret. It's a feature common to their generation; Chuck is the same, even if it manifests differently. But now it seems like Mako is her own person, free of all the rage and the craving for vengeance that pushed her to go further and further. Now she does it because she wants to, not because she has a duty to fulfil. Especially in those days when all responsibility rested on her and Tendo's shoulders in the immediate aftermath of Operation Pitfall, she learned a lot about herself. What she could do. Things she'd probably never thought about. And she's damn good at them.

She has matured. Maybe that's the right expression. It shows in the way she carries herself, in the resolute set of her shoulders and a sense of authority that she didn't have before. Don't get him wrong, people always listened to her, but not like this. Now it's her confidence that commands people's respect, something she gained in the fight against Otachi and Leatherback and in her newfound position as the face and the voice of the PPDC. Herc thinks she might have finally let go of some old ballast that pushed her on but at the same time held her back. He's very glad to know that she's having his back in the current - more bureaucratic and therefore much scarier - battle the PPDC is fighting. It's going to be a very though one.

They're on their way to the drift research lab, as the Shatterdome personnel has begun to call the labs of Caitlin Lightcap. Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb can be found there too, most of the time. The three of them have proven a very productive team, and when they asked Herc and Mako down into their realm, neither hesitated. Especially when they said that their news concerned Stacker, too.

Herc just came from the med bay this morning. He still sleeps in Stacker's bed there every night. He needs the closeness, he needs the physical contact and the ghost drift that's stronger when he's close to Stacker. He needs to feel Stacker's mind respond to his touch, the only sign of consciousness that he has shown since they were fished out of the ocean. 

There's been no change since, no improvement, but also no deterioration. It's been six days, and even Herc begins to get slightly nervous. To hear that his scientists may have come up with something seems too good to be true, and Herc forces himself not to expect too much. They can't perform miracles, after all, and what Stacker needs is a miracle. He can read the same carefully suppressed hope in Mako. They both have learned a long time ago that things are never that easy.

Once they've arrived at the correct floor, they walk to the lab that's situated close to the elevator to facilitate the transport of equipment. The doors are wide open and Herc can hear the buzz of machinery even before they enter the room. Inside he takes in the scenery - a huge, makeshift yet still very complicated looking machine takes up most of the lab. There are work stations with screens spread all over the place, and Herc spots Caitlin in the back of the lab, working on one of them. Right in front of Herc, there are two legs sticking out from under the machine, and it's not too difficult to guess how they belong to.

Herc taps one foot with the tip of his boot. "Dr Geiszler?"

There's a bit of wiggling, then Newt rolls out from under the apparatus on a creeper. "Oh, you're here! Perfect!"

He sit up and turns left and right before he spots who he's looking for. "Hey, Cait, our visitors are here!"

"Are you done?" Caitling replies, not shouting like Newt, but still loud enough to be heard at the opposite side of the lab. Herc raises an eyebrow in surprise. He has known Caitlin for a long time, and she's usually not that relaxed with people. She tends to be very reserved, even if with people she knows.

"Two minutes. You?" Newt shouts back - and here's somebody who probably never in their entire life had problems with being too reserved, Herc thinks with a barely suppressed grin.

Caitlin types something and then steps back from the terminal. "Done."

"Perfect. I'll just finish up here, then we're good to go." Newt say and rolls back under the massive machine. Herc is tempted to call him on the general rudeness of the gesture, but Caitlin is coming over to them with a big smile, and that's unusual enough to make Herc forget about Newton. Seems like they really have good news. 

"I'm glad you could make it so quickly, especially on such short notice. I'll explain to you what's going on while Newt gives the drift machine the final touch." Caitlin gestures for them to follow her to a station of screens to their left. "Yesterday morning we did an experiment with Rangers Becket and Hansen. It yielded some pretty surprising and interesting results that have given us a direction for how to treat the Marshal."

She turns to the keyboard and types something, then a row of charts and a graph show up on two of the screens. "Well, long story short, this machine makes it possible for two people to drift, but only on the condition that they're a perfect match _and_ have drifted together before. The perfect match connection is the base this machine works with, so we can't create a drift between people who're just compatible."

"Which is probably not bad considering the abuse that's possible with a machine that allows drifting." Newt chimes in. He doesn't even bother to roll out from under the machine while talking. "At least there's not going to be random drifting to get access to other people's mind. Perfect matches are rare, after all, and too loyal to each other to cause their partner any harm." 

"We've already decided not to venture into research considering a drift without a perfect match connection. Not to mention that we think it's not possible without causing massive damage to both compatible parties." Caitlin explains and gestures at Newt's feet sticking out from under the apparatus.

"Seems reasonable." Herc say with a nod at Caitlin. "I wouldn't want the PPDC to be responsible for such a dangerous tool on the market. I can already see all the ways it would be abused."

"That's what we thought, too." Newt finally does come out from underneath the machine, and now there are some additional stains on his formerly white shirt. He doesn't seem to mind, not that Herc understands how he can think that a white shirt is a good idea when working on heavy machinery.

"Now, our experiment with Becket and Hansen was in a way an imitation of the situation you and Pentecost are currently in. We gave Becket a mild sedative, and once he was asleep, we had Hansen drift with him. I'm sure you can see the similarities." Newt joins them at the station, and Caitlin reaches out to switch off his headlight that's blinding them all. Herc involuntarily smiles at the gesture that seems oddly familiar. They must have been in this situation before. It's good to see Caitlin befriend somebody here in the Shatterdome.

"Of course we surveyed their drift, and while Becket's brain was nice and quiet, Chuck's spiked several times." Caitlin points at the graphs on the screen behind her. Herc can see immediately what she's talking about, even without being an expert on the subject. "Once Chuck came out of the drift, he told us that neither Becket nor him caused those spikes, but _Yancy_." 

"Excuse me?" Mako has spoken before Herc has even processed the information they've just been given. He's still at the I-must-have-heard-wrong stage. 

"Well, yeah, we reacted pretty much the same way." Newt admits with a shrug. "I mean, come on, the guy's been dead for five years, right?"

"Oi, pay some respect." Herc growls instinctively, because he can't stand it when people talk flippantly about anybody who died in the fight against the Kaiju. Newt seems entirely unimpressed and just continues talking.

"We've gone over everything Hansen told us - including the at first glance unimportant little piece of information that Hansen had the impression that Yancy controlled the drift. When we went over the readouts of the drift with this new point of view in mind, it actually proved to be true that neither Raleigh nor Chuck had controlled the drift. That more than anything convinced us. We're still looking into the phenomenon and we plan on more experiments."

"So Yancy, he's... alive?" Herc can't keep the scepticism out of his voice. If something seems to good to be true, it usually is. And Yancy miraculously returning from the dead certainly is too good to be true. There's a catch somewhere, he just knows it.

"We're still trying to figure that out. In a manner of speaking his consciousness seems to have remained stored in Raleigh's brain - without him knowing, by the way - while his body died. It's probably tied to the fact that he was still connected to Becket at the point of his death, which is unprecedented. In all other cases of Rangers dying during an active drift, both co-pilots lost their lives. It's still nothing but speculation, though. We hope to be able to find out more in future experiments." Newt is quite obviously excited about the prospect of more drift experiments. Herc can't help wondering if the same goes for Chuck and Raleigh. He's sure the emotional component is much more important to them than Newt's scientific curiosity.

"How did Raleigh take the news?" Mako asks quietly, but Herc can hear the wariness in her words. She knows Raleigh, probably second best right after Chuck, and she sees the same problem Herc sees. Not to mention that Chuck isn't the most emotionally stable at good times, and this situation certainly isn't good times. Him having to deal with Raleigh's reaction to relaying such an emotionally charged message is bound to end in hurt feelings. His _and_ Raleigh's.

"We don't know yet, we haven't seen him since we brought him into the room next door to sleep off the sedative." Caitlin replies, and Herc hears the concern in her voice. "Chuck stayed with him til he woke. He said he wanted to tell Becket about Yancy. And he warned us that Becket probably didn't want to talk to anybody afterwards."

Mako throws Herc a worried look that seems to hold the exact same thought - something must have gone wrong, because they both ate dinner with a very quiet Chuck in the mess last night. It's not particularly unusual for them to have dinner together - they've done that quite a few times since Operation Pitfall, Chuck doesn't seem to be too fond of the medical bay's food - but Chuck has been uncharacteristically subdued. _And_ he hadn't said a word about all of this.

Of course not. Stubborn idiot, Herc thinks with a profound mental sigh. He shouldn't be surprised, really. Chuck may have come a long way since he first drifted with Raleigh, but he's still Chuck, after all. If there's even the slightest chance that he felt rejected, he's going to retreat into his shell. And become quiet in the course, like last night's dinner. Herc wonders if Chuck even slept in their shared quarters instead of Raleigh's room in the med bay. He can't tell since Herc himself stayed with Stacker overnight.

This is a mess. This thing with Raleigh is still so new, and both of them are still emotionally unstable. They haven't bonded to the degree of other perfect matches yet, they never had the time. Herc worries that Chuck might give up too quickly, that he'll retreat instead of pushing back because he's afraid to get hurt. Their relationship may not have been the best in the past few years, but Herc still knows Chuck. He knows that Chuck will always fight, will always push back even harder when pushed, will always mouth off instead of giving in. The only matter where he won't do that is when he feels rejected by somebody he cares about. 

And there's no doubt that he cares about Raleigh. A lot.

Mako gives him an almost imperceptible nod to let him know that she'll take care of things as soon as she gets out of this lab. It makes Herc feel better immediately.

"What's really important for the situation at hand, though, is that we know that we can send you into a drift with the Marshal, sir." Newt proves again that he has the sensitivity of a sledgehammer. Herc barely resists the urge to roll his eyes.

"We have absolutely no idea what's going on in Stacker's mind, Herc." Caitlin says seriously after sending Newt a chiding look. "There's been no change in his condition since he came here. We need to get an idea what's happening to him, and a drift with him might actually tells us. Well, tell you, to be exact."

"You want me to drift with Stacker while he's in a coma using that thing." Herc gestures at the monstrosity behind Newt and Caitlin. He's still trying to wrap his mind around the craziness of their suggestion. One look at Mako tells him that she's not convinced either.

"That sums it up nicely." Newt agrees and smirks, as if he doesn't get why the idea might be strange. Well, he probably doesn't, he voluntarily drifted with a Kaiju brain, after all - using a device he'd improvised out of garbage. That guy has no sense of self-preservation at all.

"According to the little information we have, it's likely that the version of Stacker that you'll meet in the drift is neither aware that he's in a coma nor that he's drifting." Caitlin remarks and makes a point to hold Herc's gaze. "Yancy told Chuck that he could only communicate with Raleigh when he was either sleeping or unconscious, and that Raleigh would experience it like a dream and the memories would fade upon waking. Therefore it's likely that Stacker, who doesn't know that he's in a coma, thinks the drift is a dream. We can't give you any advice on how to handle that situation, if telling him is advisable or not. You'll have to decide that yourself."

"So basically, if you agree, we'll have the Marshal brought down here and we'll give it a go." Newt continues with much less tact than Caitlin probably would have used. Herc actually appreciates the directness, because this is crazy enough as it is, he needs them to be very clear about what they're intending to do. No misunderstandings on this.

"Isn't this dangerous?" Herc asks, because they haven't told him about the risks yet, and that makes him suspicious. There are usually pretty high risks involved for experimental stuff like this, and he won't do anything that endangers Stacker any further.

"Well, of course there are risks." Newt replies casually, but the fact that he doesn't elaborate confirms Herc's inkling. Newt likes talking, and he loves sharing his theories, so that he doesn't do it now says more than a thousand words.

It's Caitlin who elaborates, and she's dead serious. "Fact is, Herc, that in the past Stacker's brain has taken on much higher neural loads than any human should be able to survive. There's damage, is stands out clearly on his brain scans, and has since 2016. He still lived for almost ten years without showing any signs of neural damage influencing his thought or body. He was even able to maintain a stable drift with you for several hours and came out of it alive."

She makes a pause to allow her words to sink in before she continues. "We don't know exactly what this drift will do to him or you. But the fact that you were able to effortlessly hold a neural handshake during Operation Pitfall shows that you _can_ drift. The drift surveillance data from Pitfall suggests that your brain took the load of the drift that was too much for Stacker. We suspect that it has to do with the fact that you are a perfect match. Your brains automatically evened out the odds once you were linked. It seems to be connected to the effect of functioning as one entity as soon as the neural handshake is initiated. Drifting with anybody else would most likely have killed him.”

Herc feels a shiver run down his back at those words. They drive the point home again how risky their drift was, how much of a wild card it was. How close he came to losing Stacker for good. 

"All right, let's give it a go." Herc nods resolutely and makes sure that his voice is firm. It's as much for his own sake as for Mako's, who he knows is worried sick about Stacker, just like Herc himself is. The days without an improvement in his condition have begun to grate on her nerves as well, and Herc knows that they both need a change in pace. If this drift can improve things in any way, then Herc is willing to give it a try.

"Great." Newt actually claps his hands in an instinctive show of enthusiasm.

"We're lucky we just had a press conference two days ago." Herc sighs. "I'm sure they would have grilled us even more if they knew about what we're planning to do."

"No need to tell." Newt shrugs. "It's still in the experimental stage, after all. Company's secret."

"Yeah, I'm not actually planning to let them know that the current head of the PPDC is about to engage in a drift with the Marshal who's in a coma after a bomb run on the Breach." Herc snorts. "It sounds too much like the entire leadership of the PPDC is suicidal."

Even Mako smirks at that. What makes it so funny is that nothing could be further from the truth. Stacker, Herc, Mako, Chuck, Raleigh - they all have so much to live for, have so much fight inside of them. They're far from suicidal, even if circumstances make it difficult to realise that. From an outsider's point of view, it certainly seems as if they're actively seeking out deadly situations all the time.

Within only a few minutes, Caitlin and Newt have gone through all the preparations. Stacker is brought down to the lab with a few nurses and a doctor in tow and Herc lies down on a second bed next to him with the same sensors on his temples as Stacker. It's oddly familiar, reminding him of the first day in the med bay right after he woke up. Right up until the moment when Newt puts a weird looking helmet on his head and activates it. It feels like feathers are touching his hair and skin, and Herc shivers a bit at the sensation. He may be a bit more ticklish than he's ever going to admit.

Mako is standing next to his bed, and when Herc looks up at her, she gives a little smile and inclines her head.

"You drift with Sensei. I'll take care of Chuck and Raleigh." Mako says firmly, and Herc knows she will sort this mess to her best ability. Of course that doesn't mean much faced with the sheer amount of stubbornness, misunderstandings and hurt feelings that come together between Chuck and Raleigh. They can be impressively stupid, those two. Well, Mako is nothing if not persistent.

"Thank you, Mako." Herc gives her a nod in gratitude. He's well aware that she can do much more than he could - there are a lot of things Chuck will not talk to him about, and seeing how he's not only Raleigh's commanding officer but also Chuck's father, Raleigh won't talk to him frankly either. Mako, on the other hand, has a good relationship to both of them, and she's skilled in dealing with difficult people - be it politicians, journalists or her short-sighted best friend and her hurt almost-brother.

"We're ready, sir." Newt announces from one of the terminals installed on the machine.

Caitlin comes over to where Herc is lying right next to Stacker, and she smiles when she spots Herc's hand that's wrapped firmly around Stacker's. Herc is aware that he's way more physical with Stacker than he's ever been before, but it's such a fundamental urge that he can't fight it. He's not _willing_ to fight it. It feels like it's necessary at the moment, and he has always trusted his instincts. They haven't led him astray so far.

"For you goes the same as for Chuck: We will not terminate the drift remotely, no matter how long it takes, until you tell us to. We will not take any risks on that." Caitlin tells him firmly. Herc likes that rule, he has an inkling that it's a good one, and he nods in acknowledgement.

"Ready to initiate neural handshake?" Newt asks from his station, the excitement plain in his voice. Herc catches Mako's gaze and gives a quick smile, then he nods. "Ready."

"Initiating neural handshake in five - four - three..."

Herc closes his eyes and concentrates on his breathing, synchronising it with Stacker's. It's something that still comes as easily and naturally to him as the very first time.

"...two..."

Newt's voice grows distant as Herc opens his mind to Stacker, focussing on the ghost drift that he knows will be replaced by the clarity of the neural handshake in a second.

"...one..."

A flash, familiar and yet different, a powerful surge of memories that wraps around him, engulfs him, and when he opens his eyes, he's not in the lab. It feels like a dream, just that he knows that it isn't one. He's completely clear, remembers exactly how he came here. He knows that he engaged in a drift with Stacker via Newton's newest gadget, to find out what his condition is. 

Now he's on a beach that seems oddly familiar, the sun is warm on his skin and the breeze from the sea just enough to keep it from getting too hot. It touches the bare skin of his chest and shoulders, and when Herc looks down he's dressed in a pair of boardshorts that he knows he remembers. He's still trying to put his finger on the odd feeling he can't fight off, that something is wrong, and still it's completely right. It's strange, and it's nagging in the back of his mind...

"Dad! Dad! Look! I'm standing!" 

Herc feels a shiver run down his spine, ice cold and scalding hot at the same time. He knows that voice. He whirls around to catch sight of Chuck, no, young _Charlie_ who loves to ride his dad's shoulders, who's grinning and just so keeping his balance on his surfboard. He's riding the wave all the way back to shore, maybe a bit unsteady, but he remains standing. The pride is radiating off him and Herc can't help smiling broadly. 

He feels the warm sand between his toes and smells the tang of the sea in the air when he takes a deep breath. It's so real, so convincing that it's easy to forget it's a dream. Herc watches Chuck - no, _Charlie_ \- paddle out again, as fierce and determined as Chuck, just with a layer of sincere innocence around him that Chuck lost when his mom died. It makes Herc's heart clench too see him young and whole again, a child who doesn't know about the cruelty of the world yet. 

When Herc turns around, he sees a young girl kneeling in the sand a few metres away, wearing blue boardies and a sun protection shirt along with a floppy hat. It takes him a second to recognise her as Mako. She's younger than Stacker ever met her, maybe seven or eight, and so is Chuck. Herc realises that Stacker's dream is also based on Herc's own memories that they shared in every single drift.

Mako's building a sandcastle, a look of utter concentration on her face. A closer look reveals that it's not just some childish attempt to build something resembling a medieval structure, no, it's in fact a quite tall robot-like figure that bears stunning resemblance to Gipsy Danger. A bucket of water rests on one side of the figure, and there are tool spread out around Mako, all in perfect order sorted by type and size. When she changes from one chisel to the other, she replaces them in their assorted spot. She doesn't seem to take note of the world around her at all, she's only focussed on the detailed foot she's carving at the moment. Herc smiles at the sight, it's something that seems exactly like the thing Mako would have done as a child. She already displays the tendency to perfectionism she carried into adulthood.

Suddenly Mako looks up and catches his gaze. She moves back from the sand sculpture and comes to stand next to him, eyeing her masterpiece critically.

"What do you think, Daddy?" Mako asks, her voice still so much like Herc knows it and yet she sounds like the child she must have been before Onibaba destroyed her innocence along with her family and Tokyo. 

"What's it supposed to be?" Herc asks carefully. He's not sure how to handle the situation, so he'll do some recon first.

"Daddy! You know it's Gipsy! I've been working on the plans for weeks, after all." Mako manages to sound scandalised and chiding at the same time while still sounding like her polite self. It's quite a feat in Herc's opinion.

Only then does it sink in what she called him, and as soon as his brain catches up, he feels goosebumps spread all over his skin. It's strange, but somehow also feels so good, so _right_ , to have this young version of Mako call him 'Daddy'. He never got that close to the real Mako, the one who was already a teen when she first met him, and too shy, too reserved and too traumatised to allow anybody close. Even Stacker, who he knows is like a father for her, she never calls that.

"I think it's a very accurate rendering of Gipsy." Herc makes sure to actually inspect the sand sculpture closely, because Mako is attentive like that. "You have got the proportions right, and the details are correct. Great job, Mako."

He smiles at her and she returns it. She actually looks proud in the innocent and sincere way only children have, and it warms Herc's heart to know that his praise means so much to her.

"Dad! Mako!" Herc and Mako turn around at the breathless shout and watch Charlie run up the beach towards them, carrying his children's surfboard under his arm. He's wearing a long-sleeved sun protection shirt with a cartoon rendering of a robot that looks a lot like Striker Eureka, along with a huge grin. "Did you see me? I managed to stand four times in a row!"

"Yeah, I saw you. You're real good." Herc ruffles Charlie's hair affectionately, because hey, he hasn't been allowed to do that in over a decade, so it's impossible to resist. It feels good that Charlie doesn't flinch or pull away, but actually laughs at the touch.

"I watched you earlier." Mako says. "You're getting there."

If possible, Charlie beams a little more. He rams his surf board in the sand until it remains standing, then he spots Mako's masterpiece.

"Cool sculpture, Mako!" He exclaims in obviously spontaneous excitement. "Gipsy?"

She nods and watches Chuck circle the sand figure. He makes sure not to mess up her carefully laid out tools, and Herc is surprised by the consideration. Or maybe he did it once and she kicked his arse and he learned his lesson. That's possible, too, Herc thinks with a halfway suppressed smirk.

"When will you do Striker?" Charlie asks while inspecting the head of the robot.

"I've begun with the plans." Mako obviously enjoys it that Charlie is so clearly impressed by her work. Herc doesn't even dare to ask how long it must have taken her. By the position of the sun Herc can tell it's late afternoon, so she could have been at it since the early morning. He wouldn't put it past her.

Charlie suddenly exchanges a quick look with Mako - Herc can't get rid of the feeling that they just had an entire conversation without actually saying a word - then he turns to Herc with hope gleaming in his eyes. "Dad? Can we get some ice cream?"

"Please, Daddy?" Mako adds and uses really heartbreaking puppy dog eyes on him. He's never been subject to that look on her - he didn't even know she _could_ look like that - especially combined with Chuck joining her and actually asking politely, so Herc forgives himself for caving in almost instantly. It also makes his heart clench wistfully how obviously they're behaving like siblings. He wishes they had had the chance to grow that tight in reality. It would have done them both a world of good.

"All, right, ice cream it is. You even get to choose where we go." Herc gives them the choice because he has no idea where the next ice parlour is, but he's pretty sure they do. It results in whooping and a little dance of joy.

Chuck grabs his surf board, and Mako quickly and efficiently packs up her tools, empties the bucket of water and puts the bundled up tools inside. There's obviously a system to this, she's not doing it for the first time.

Only a minute later Herc follows Charlie and Mako who're excitedly leading the way, Mako with her blue bucket in her hands and Charlie carrying his surf board. Herc offered to take it, but Charlie insisted that if he could surf it, he could carry it, too. Herc couldn't entirely hide his proud smile. His boy is turning out all right.

When they reach the promenade, it suddenly hits Herc. This is Noosa, and it looks just like when Stacker, Tamsin and he spend a week there in 2016 during their Epic Road Trip through Australia. There's the smoothie stand, and over there is the café they liked to frequent. That's why the beach and his boardshorts look to familiar, Herc realises, because they're exactly the same as in 2016. Clearly Stacker drew on their road trip for this dream.

Mako and Charlie stop in front of a little café that Herc remembers because Tamsin loved the moccaccino there. There are benches and chairs standing in a row on the footpath and a sign announces that there are thirty different flavours of ice cream to choose from. There are quite a few people enjoying coffee and ice cream, among them several families with children.

"Auntie Tam!" Charlie breaks into a big smile. Herc follows his gaze and sees a very familiar redhead sitting on one of the benches, a cup in front of her that Herc is ready to bet his life on contains a moccaccino. 

"Hey there, Sunshine! What are you doing here?" Tamsin hugs first Charlie and then Mako who both hurried over to her as soon as they spotted her. Tamsin gives Herc a conspirational wink over Mako's shoulder. "Did you wrap your daddy around your little finger again to get some ice cream?"

Herc rolls his eyes and barely manages to keep a sigh from slipping out. Seems that him giving in to their puppy dog eyes is the norm, not the exception. Tamsin just grins.

"Come on, have a seat." She moves aside on the bench and Charlie slips in next to her immediately. Herc can't say he's surprised, even his Chuck got on really well with Tamsin. Two peas in a pot, and a lot of stupid ideas between them. Those two together had made Scott look like a reasonable adult.

Herc takes one of the free chairs and Mako squeezes on Tamsin's other side while Charlie is already telling Tamsin about his success in surfing. From the few words exchanged, Herc grabs that it was Tamsin who taught him, and she's giving Charlie a high five when he mentions that he stood on his surfboard all the way to the shore.

Herc is glad that the attention is not focussed on him. He has to swallow against the lump in his throat while watching Tamsin interact with Charlie and Mako. God, he missed her so much. Her wit, her sarcasm, her sharp tongue and her great heart. Only now, sitting here in a dreamed up café as if she was still alive, does Herc really feel how empty the Shatterdome was without her. He never took the time to think about it before, always made sure to not let his mind go there. Tamsin's death was one more loss he could never quite get over. Neither did Stacker, Herc knows that even without drifting. 

Herc's brooding is interrupted when a young waitress comes out and takes one look at Mako and Charlie before breaking out into a grin. "The usual, you two?"

Charlie and Mako nod in union and smile at her. She doesn't even note it down, and Herc has the feeling that they're regulars here. "And you, Herc? Cappuccino and a scoop of stracciatella ice cream?"

Oh yeah, they're regulars all right. This is what he would have ordered, given the choice. He unobtrusively eyes her name plate and then gives her a big smile. "You know me too well, Julie."

She laughs and winks at Charlie and Mako. "I remember my best customers. Anything else for you, Tam?"

Tamsin eyes her cup, then she smirks at the waitress. "My moccaccino is almost gone, Julie. I think I'll go for another."

"Coming right up." The waitress smiles and disappears to take the orders from the couple sitting at the table next to them. 

"Ahhh, nothing's better than a nice moccaccino on a sunny Sunday afternoon." Tamsin says with a broad, satisfied smile and stretches her arms comfortably. 

"And ice cream!" Mako chirps and Charlie nods furiously in eager agreement.

"What did you do today, Cookie?" Tamsin asks Mako and cuddles her close.

"She built an awesome sculpture of Gipsy!" Charlie replies before Mako can even open her mouth. "It's down on the beach, right next to the promenade. It's really cool!"

"Did you, now?" Tamsin looks impressed. "I'll make sure to have a look later on. Your version of Crimson Typhoon was so good that it made it into the newspaper, after all. I can't miss that."

Mako beams at the praise. She's still shy, Herc realises, but not as much as the real Mako. She seems to feel secure in her relationships to her family, and that makes her a little more outgoing.

"Here we go." Julie the waitress is back with a tray laden with coffee and ice cream. She sets the delicious treats down and Charlie's and Mako's eyes glister with anticipation. Mako gets a banana split and Charlie eyes his spaghetti ice cream, a speciality of the café that, if Herc remembers correctly, made it especially popular with the children. It truly looks like a bowl of spaghetti covered in tomato sauce, but Herc knows it's actually vanilla ice cream and strawberry sauce. He still finds it as strange as back in 2016, when he first saw Tamsin order it out of curiosity.

Herc takes a sip of his cappuccino and enjoys the way the flavour explodes in his mouth. This may be a dream, but so far it's a damn good one, he thinks with a smile. When he opens his eyes again, Herc spots Stacker walking towards the café with the relaxed, easy way of walking he took on during their road trip in 2016. He's wearing boardies and thongs, same as the stunningly beautiful woman next to him. They're talking and laughing and seem utterly comfortable around each other. 

Herc tries very hard not to stare. He may never have met Luna Pentecost in person, but he has seen her in so many of Stacker's memories that he recognises her immediately. She's everything Stacker told him about her. She's tall - must run in the Pentecost family, Herc thinks with a smirk - and she has the confident walk of a person who's resting in herself. Her long black hair is pulled back in a messy bun and there are sporty sunnies pushed into her hair. She's wearing a tank top and shorts that look comfortable rather than stylish, and Herc likes her immediately.

"Dad!" Mako beams at Stacker, and Herc feels his heart clench in wistfulness. For a moment he wishes that he didn't know that this is just a dream. He can see so many of Stacker unspoken and buried wishes come true in this dream, simple things that would have made him so happy. Having a family, with Herc, Mako, Chuck, Luna and Tamsin. Living in a world that doesn't know the horror of the Kaiju. He asks for so little, yet it's so much. 

Herc watches Mako get off the bench, completely forgetting her beloved ice cream, and running over to Stacker who catches her and lifts her effortlessly up on his arms. He presses a kiss to her cheek and Mako giggles, especially when Luna leans in and pecks her on the other cheek. 

When they get to the table, Stacker sets Mako down. Herc is astonished to see Charlie hop off the bench to claim a hug from Stacker who returns it with a content smile. Never in is life has Herc seen Chuck being so affectionate with Stacker. It touches something deep inside of him that Stacker obviously would have liked to get to know Chuck better, to really be a family. Herc knows Stacker cares for his boy, but he also knows that the situation in their reality had been too screwed up to make it possible for Stacker and Chuck to get close. 

"Hey gorgeous." Luna bends down and gently kisses Tamsin on the lips, then she ruffles Charlie's hair and sits down next to Tamsin. "Is this a family meeting I wasn't told about?"

"More a spontaneous get-together." Tamsin replies and Herc watches Luna steal her moccaccino. 

"I see a banana split in front of me." Luna states and then looks at Mako with a smirk. "Did I take your seat, Cookie?" 

Mako nods earnestly. Herc smirks at the nickname. It's quite fitting. He knows that Mako has a massive sweet tooth, but she also has great discipline, and that evens out the odds. 

"Come here, Cookie, we can sit here together." Luna smiles at the little girl and Mako hops up to sit on her legs.

"How was the beach?" Stacker asks Herc and sits down on the chair next to him, but not before pressing a quick kiss on the top of his head and carding his hand through the hair at the nape of Herc's neck. It makes a shiver run down Herc's spine, just as casual affectionate touches from Stacker always do. He still loves those little gestures. 

"I stood on my board! Four times in a row!" Charlie says enthusiastically before Herc can even think about what to say about an afternoon he mostly doesn't remember. It's not *his* dream, after all.

"And I made Gipsy!" Mako's voice is a bit more quiet, but no less excited.

"She looks so cool, Pa!" Charlie turns towards Stacker, and Herc can't help the big smile that comes to his lips when he hears Charlie call Stacker 'Pa'. It may be weird to have his boy call anybody else that, but with Stacker, it feel right. Especially when it comes from this young, innocent version of his Chuck, the one who truly means it. "You all have to come look at it!"

"We can do that on our way home." Stacker suggests while Charlie pulls the plate with his spaghetti ice cream over to where he's sitting on the last free chair with his legs dangling.

"How was you day?" Tamsin asks both Stacker and Luna. She also catches Julie's attention to get another moccaccino since hers is firmly in Luna's possession now. Luna just smirks and licks the foam off her upper lip, obviously teasing Tamsin who just gently elbows her into the side. Mako giggles and offers Tamsin a bite of her banana split, as if trying to even out the odds. Tamsin accepts and thanks Mako with a peck to the cheek which makes the girl smile even more. 

Herc watches them, glad that he doesn't have to speak. His chest feels tight and he doesn't trust his voice right now. All of it is so strange and yet so familiar. He remembers how well Tamsin and Mako got along, how they bonded almost instantly, how Tamsin managed to pull the shy little girl out of her shell when Mako came to live with Stacker. He remembers the first time he heard Mako laugh out loud, and how it was Tamsin who made her laugh with scrawly drawings of stick figures of Stacker, Herc, herself and Mako. 

He also remembers how silent Mako became after Tamsin's death, how she never cried but still grieved in a way that made Stacker and Herc feel helpless. He knows that Stacker felt guilty for making her lose another person she loved, and how he tried to make up for it. But Mako was too old, had seen too many things and gone through too much on her own to really accept help and comfort anymore. She'd learned that she could do it on her own, and she didn't want to burden anybody, so she kept it together and never faltered in her flawless performance. Herc is sure that she never knew how much she made Stacker feel lost and helpless with that attitude.

This, though, this is how Stacker would have loved to see Mako grow up. With a family that she could love without fear of losing them. A fear she doesn't even know in this world. No mask of competence and duty, just a child that matures in due course, not way too early. Charlie is the same, and Herc turns to watch him discuss his surfing success with Stacker, his little face beaming with pride and his voice earnest in the way children have. Herc likes seeing him like that.

Julie comes by and brings a new moccaccino for Tamsin and a latte macchiato for Stacker. Herc smirks when Stacker steals a bit of Herc's ice cream and doesn't even bother to fight him off. He enjoys the relaxed atmosphere, the easy familiarity and the open affection too much to do anything to stop it. Never has Stacker behaved so openly affectionate in public, and Herc indulges in it while it lasts. Dream or not.

They sit in the café for quite some time before they all together go to the beach to look at Mako's sand sculpture. There are already people standing around it, taking pictures and videos, and several children pose next to Gipsy for pictures. It's already quite the success, and Herc sees Mako smile when she sees how much people enjoy her work. Tamsin kneels next to Gipsy with Mako standing besides her and has Luna take pictures of the two and the sculpture. Mako is shy until Tamsin begins to tickle her to get her to laugh for the picture. Stacker just smirks, he's quite obviously used to Tamsin's crazy ways. 

They say good-bye afterwards since Luna and Tamsin have parked on the other end of the beach. There are hugs and pecks and Herc is surprised that Luna actually cuddles him just as much as the children. It makes him feel like she has accepted him into the Pentecost side of the family. It feels good.

Charlie insists on carrying his surfboard back to the car, and Mako doesn't let anybody else carry the bucket with her tools, either. They're pretty determined to make it on their own, and Herc appreciates that. It's a good character trait, they'll need it later in life. They're both walking in front of Stacker and Herc, and Herc is sure he can hear Striker's and Gipsy's names pop up in their conversation. Those two are really obsessed with their Jaegers.

Herc only listens with half an ear. He's busy quietly freaking out about the fact that Stacker took his hand as soon as they left the café, and now their fingers are loosely entwined. It's oddly comfortable and intimate, yet Herc can tell that it comes naturally to Stacker, that he doesn't think he's doing something special. Even during their road trip in 2016, when Stacker slowly unbent, he never relaxed to quite that extent.

Herc knows his position as the Marshal of the PPDC made Stacker aware of the eyes watching him, politicians as well as the PPDC personnel. They were at war, and Stacker couldn't allow to be seen as soft or even human - he had to be their fixed point, their last man standing. A role, not a person with actual feelings. It made him hard in ways Herc doesn't like but understands, and he's always glad to see Stacker's mask fall away when they're in private.

"You drive?" Stacker asks Herc after a moment of companionable silence.

"Nah, you drive." Herc replies because he's absolutely not sure where he should drive to. He has no idea where they're going, after all. 

To his surprise, the car proves to be a pick-up truck with 'Herc's Carpentry' printed all over the side. He's a chippie, Herc realises. Well, that's not too unreasonable. If life had been different, he might very well have picked that line of work. There aren't many people who know that. Herc has been doing woodwork his entire life, from building houses to carving delicate ornaments. His grandfather taught him, and Herc has been carrying a little set of tools around wherever he went. His granddad gave it to him for his fifteenth birthday, and they're really good tools. Stacker knows that, even owns a few pieces of Herc's work.

"I sit on the left!" Charlie calls as soon as they reach the car, and makes a point of running to the left hand door with his surfboard still in hand.

"No, I want to sit on the left!" Mako frowns at him, and it doesn't take Herc more than a second to realise that this is a regular argument. He catches Stacker's gaze and sees him roll his eyes. Meanwhile, Mako and Charlie continue to bicker.

"No! It's my turn!" Charlie shouts back at her. 

Mako stands her ground. "That's not true!"

"Mako. Charlie." Stacker doesn't even raise his voice, yet both children stop quibbling. They're still glaring at each other, though. Stacker pulls a dollar coin out of his pocket and holds it out for both of them to see. "We let the coin decide."

Reluctantly Mako nods, and then Charlie does, too. Herc hides a smirk, this solution does seem to be as regular as the argument itself. Stacker flips the coin up, catches it mid air and slaps it on the back of his hand. "Heads or tails?"

"Tails." Charlie says in the exact same moment that Mako replies, "Heads."

Stacker lifts his hand and holds it out so that both children can see the result. Herc just stands back and keeps watching them with a carefully hidden smile. It's an intelligent solution, too, because neither of the children can actually blame anybody if they don't get their wish. Charlie's face darkens at the same moment that Mako's brightens. It's quite obvious who gets to sit on the popular left side. 

"That's not fair! She got to sit on the left side last time too!" Charlie stomps his foot hard on the ground and causes a little sand fountain. Now this is a trait of Chuck that Herc remembers from reality, the one where he gets moody and cranky if he doesn't get what he wants. 

"Charlie." There's a warning in Stacker's voice, although he still hasn't even raised his voice at all. "We've talked about this. It was a fair decision that nobody had any influence on and you have to accept that. Next time when you win, you don't want Mako to insist on your spot either."

Charlie pulls a face but doesn't say a thing. This also seems to be a regular thing, and in the way both Stacker and Charlie deal with it Herc can see a certain familiarity. Mako climbs into the truck on the left side and puts the bucket with her tools between her feet while Charlie stomps off to the right side. 

"Don't slam the door, Charlie." Stacker says just in time, Herc can see that Charlie was just about to do exactly that. Stacker sighs heavily and grabs the surfboard that Chuck left lying on the sand, puts it on the truck bed and then walks over to where Herc is standing next to the driver's side.

"Always the same." Stacker whispers and rolls his eyes again when his back it turned towards the children.

Herc chuckles. "It will only get worse, I can promise you that."

"Thank you for the encouragement." Stacker replies dryly. "Do you have the keys?"

Keys. Sure. This is quite obviously Herc's truck, and since it looks like he came with the children, he must have the keys. Herc thinks for a moment where he'd put them, then he checks the key loop in the pocket of his boardies. Sure enough, there they are. Good thing that Stacker's dream takes place in such familiar surroundings.

Herc hands Stacker the keys and gets in on the passenger side. They drive through roads that are familiar, a long-ago memory of their road trip. They leave the main road and then Stacker follows a little dirt trail for a minute or two before a two-storey, Colonial-style house comes into view. It's painted a creamy white, with a low, wide annex to the left. Herc has to suppress a gasp. 

They have a house. A beautiful house with a view of the sea. Herc makes a real effort not to stare, he's supposed to already know his own house, after all. But he's enchanted, the place is just perfect. Stacker parks the pick-up next to a silver ute that seems to be Stacker's car, and Herc takes a moment to take a deep breath before he gets out of the car. Mako and Charlie are already waiting on the porch for Stacker to open the door, then they run inside. Herc grabs Charlie's surfboard and puts it down on the porch next to a longboard, then he leaves his thongs next to the array of adult and children's shoes beside the front door.

He can hear the banging of feet on the wooden stairs even before he's closed the door behind him. Herc walks slowly, taking in the interior of the house, of the home Stacker imagined for them. It's simple bit tasteful, with the undeniable chaotic touch that comes from having two young children. He can see notebooks and pens and books spread out on the dining room table that Herc instinctively knows he made himself. He has the feeling that he actually made a lot of the furniture in the house, from the aforementioned elegant but functional arrangement in the dining room to the comfortable looking couch and armchairs in the living room. The table seems to be made of driftwood, and it looks almost mythical. 

When Herc turns around, he spots a wooden picture frame standing on on side of the counter that separates the kitchen and the dining room. It's the frame he made for Stacker in 2022 as a Christmas gift. It's something he worked on for quite a while since quiet moments were rare during deployments. Herc smiles and traces his fingertips over the carved wood. The fact that it's in Stacker's dream tells him how much this gift means to Stacker, how much he cherishes it. 

The picture in the frame is different though, it doesn't show him and Stacker in their drivesuits. Instead there's Stacker with a maybe four-year-old Mako sitting on his shoulders, and Herc's carrying an equally young Charlie on his shoulders. They're standing high on a cliff with a long beach somewhere in the background. Herc recognises it as a spot in the Noosa National Park, it was where Stacker, Tamsin and he had their picnic in 2016. It's weird how memories come together in this dream, yet it all somehow makes sense.

Herc doesn't have much more time to observe his surroundings because Stacker calls him into the kitchen and they begin to make dinner. Well, it's really Herc who cooks, Stacker is still as untalented in the kitchen as Herc knows he really is. Funny how some things don't change, even in dreams.

Dinner is a lively affair. Charlie and Mako are busy discussing Jaeger specifics and pilots that Herc has never heard about. He's still not quite sure how the Jaegers and the Kaiju tie into this world. It's on his have-to-find-out-list, but for now he's content to just sit and enjoy the unexpected domestic peace. Stacker joins their discussion from time to time, and both children are more than eager to take up his thoughts and take them further. Seems they're not the only ones who still love Jaegers.

After Herc and Stacker spent some time checking the children's homework - Charlie and Mako are still as perfectionist as they are in reality - they both get permission to watch one of their favourite movies. Surprisingly there's no argument about what they'll watch, as Herc expected - it seems that they actually agree on what movies are the best. Only when Herc holds the DVD case in hand does he understand. There's a huge Kaiju printed on the front - looks like Mutavore - and a very impressive looking rendering of Striker Eureka.

So there are no Kaiju in this world. No _real_ Kaiju, anyway. They're just the stars of a very successful movie trilogy that Mako and Chuck and about several million others love to pieces. Jaegers aren't real either, they also belong to those movies, and Herc thinks that although he'd miss piloting Striker, this is the better alternative. It's almost like a peek into what the world could have been like, what _they_ could have been like, if the Kaiju hadn't been. 

It dawns on Herc what is going on. This is a vision Stacker's brain put together of all the good moments it could find, a mixture of Herc's and Stacker's memories, fused together to one big happy life that defies logic, time and possibility. And it's so easy to get lost in it. This is paradise, a place so perfect Herc never even imagined it. He knows it's a completely unrealistic scenario, but that doesn't make him love it any less.

Charlie and Mako cuddle up between Herc and Stacker on the couch and watch the movie with rapt attention, although Herc gathers that they already know the entire thing by heart. They comment on scenes and throw in the odd piece of expert knowledge, and Herc finds himself enjoy the movie quite a lot. He can see the parallels to reality, but it's still different enough to be interesting and surprising. Herc leans back and relaxed into the couch, Charlie cuddled up against him and Stacker's head resting on Herc's shoulder. Mako is snuggled into Stacker's arms, her legs folded underneath her, and she's biting her lip while her eyes are glued to the screen. This is what Herc remembers family movie nights being like when Angela was still alive. He smiles, content with the world, and rests his head on top of Stacker's. 

When the movie is over, it's time for the children to go to bed, and Herc sends them upstairs to brush their teeth and change into their pyjamas. Meanwhile he and Stacker clean up the kitchen. It's so domestic that Herc has to grin. He likes it.

Once they're done, Herc follows Stacker upstairs. Stacker enters the first room to the left, and Herc sees Mako cuddled up underneath the blankets on her bed. Her room is covered in blueprints of Jaegers, drawings she quite obviously made herself. They're really good, even if they're pencil drawings on huge pieces of paper, with notes and reference pictures taped here and there. Herc spots the plans that she must have been talking about on the beach earlier, blueprints of Gipsy with measurements and notes on what to pay attention to when carving the sculpture. 

Herc sits down on the edge of the bed and leans down to press a kiss to her temple. "Sleep well, Mako." 

"Night, Daddy." She replies, smiling. It makes Herc's heart clench again. He could get used to this. 

Stacker takes Herc's place on the edge of the bed when Herc gets up to go over to Charlie's room. When Herc enters, Charlie is sitting hunched over a book on his bed. There are posters of Striker and her pilots, of the actors who play Rangers in the movies. There are prints of all kinds of Jaegers taped to the wall, but Charlie quite obviously favours Striker Eureka, while Mako is rather fond of Gipsy Danger. Herc can't help smiling at that, at how Stacker kept their affiliation with their Jaegers even in his dream.

"Are you still up?" Herc asks and switches off the main light so that the little reading lamp on the bedside table is the only light source. 

Charlie looks up from the comic he was leafing through. He's in his pyjamas, his ginger hair ruffled and standing up in weird angles. "Just looking at Striker's latest fight. You know, the one against Leatherback."

"That's not exactly bedtime reading." Herc replies and takes the booklet to set it on the table. "Aren't you supposed to think about something nice and peaceful before going to sleep?"

"But Dad! Striker is so cool! When I'm older, I want to become a Jaeger pilot, too! I'll be a Ranger and then I'll pilot Striker!" Charlie says with the firm, sincere conviction that only children and drunks ever manage. 

Herc chuckles, because hey, that dream actually came true in his reality. "I'm sure you will. You've got all it take to make a great pilot."

It's nice how he can say that knowing it's the truth. Charlie's eyes sparkle and he flops down in his pillow with a smile. "I'm going to be the best pilot ever."

Herc smirks and leans down to tuck Charlie in. "That'll take a lot of work. And in order to be able to reach your goal, you have to be well rested. That's why it's time to sleep now."

"Okay." Charlie seems to see the logic behind that statement and cuddles deeper into the pillow. "Night, Dad!"

"Good night, Charlie." Herc has to swallow against the lump in his throat. It's been a long time since he's been in a situation like this, since his Chuck wanted him to tuck him in. Charlie closes his eyes and Herc leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. "Sleep well."

Charlie huffs and turns onto his side, the smile still on his lips. He'll probably dream of piloting Striker, Herc thinks with a smirk. He gets up from the bed just as Stacker comes in. He also bends down to kisses Charlie on the top of his head. Herc hears a mumbled "Good night, Pa", then Stacker switches off the reading lamp and quietly leaves the room with Herc.

Herc follows Stacker downstairs where they get a beer each, then Stacker switches off all the lights and opens the terrace doors wide to allow the cool evening breeze to enter the house. Herc sits down on the stairs of the back porch that faces the ocean and takes a sip of his beer. He's surprised when Stacker sits down between Herc's legs, one step further down, and leans back against Herc with a content sigh. It only takes Herc the fraction of a second to regain his composure, then he wraps his arms around Stacker's shoulders, the bottle dangling from his fingers.

"Now that's a perfect way to spend a Sunday evening." Stacker's voice is low, so quiet that Herc barely hears him. The smile is evident in his tone, and Herc chuckles.

"I can only agree." He replies equally quietly and leans in to nibble on Stacker's earlobe. Stacker lets his head fall to the side to grant him better access, and he actually melts even further into Herc's embrace in an almost boneless sprawl. It's rare for Stacker to let go like this, and Herc has always loved it. It's a sign of trust, and it shows that Stacker feels completely comfortable and safe. 

For a long time Herc just breathes in Stacker's scent and from time to time gently bites his neck or earlobe. It's peaceful and comfortable to be so close and to just enjoy each other's presence. It's a luxury they rarely have in reality, and Herc takes a profound pleasure in it. Only when they've both long finished their beer and the moon is standing high in the sky do they get up to go to bed. Herc closes the downstairs windows and then joins Stacker in the bathroom to brush his teeth. He finds a pair of boxer briefs on his side of the bed, worn and soft by age, and they fit him perfectly. He slips under the covers and wraps himself around Stacker, arms and legs and all, and smiles when he hears Stacker sigh contently.

Herc closes his eyes, pulls Stacker closer and buries his nose in his hair. He takes a deep breath, enjoys Stacker's scent and feels sleep slowly take hold of him.

Oh yes, he could really get used to this.

 

*** 

 

"Isn't this becoming dangerous?" Chuck can't help being worried, his dad's been under for over ten hours by now. A new thought pops up in his mind and makes him frown. "He's not in a coma as well, is he?"

"No, he isn't." Doc Lightcap shakes her head while pointing at some readings on a screen that seem to underline her statement, but Chuck doesn't know what they mean. "He's just drifting with Pentecost. We could pull him out at any moment if we cut the connection, but I'm sure it would do more harm then good. He needs to come out of the drift by himself, just like you did."

"If you say so." Chuck isn't convinced, but he does see her point and he trusts her judgement. He certainly wouldn't have wanted anybody to pull him out of the drift when he met Yancy. That could have ended badly. 

Chuck turns to look at the motionless figure of his dad who's lying on one of the hospital beds that the crew of the drift research labs sneaked off the med bay. His old man actually doesn't look too bad, he seems peaceful and Chuck is sure he even saw him smile a few times, but it still makes him feel uneasy that he's been in the drift for so long.

Chuck grits his teeth. There's nothing he can do but wait. Again. He hates waiting.

Hopefully his dad is okay in there.

 

*** 

 

Over the next days, Herc finds himself fall easily into the routine of their life in Noosa. Mako and Charlie ride their bikes to school, and Herc chuckles when he sees them wearing the hideous school uniform he remembers from Chuck's primary school in Sydney. Stacker must have tapped into his memory for those, and it's quite amusing. The uniforms look like something straight out of a fifties movie, and Herc finds them as horrible as he did in reality. Mako and Charlie don't seem to mind them, though.

On Monday morning Herc learns that Stacker is the head of the local fire department, and Tamsin is his second in command. Luna seems to be a police officer, if Herc picked that up correctly. Herc himself generally spends more time in his workshop than he does on construction sites. He's quite amazed to find out that he actually has three employees, among them an apprentice he remembers from his grandfather's business, a guy from his own unit in the RAAF, and Maggie the J-Tech from Kodiak Island. This dream really defies any logic, but it also makes sense in an odd way. The four of them work together like a well-oiled machine, with Maggie taking on a big chunk of the construction sites and Herc doing a lot of the fine works in the workshop along with the dreaded paperwork. 

Time passes quickly and Herc finds himself forgetting about reality more and more. There are times when he doesn't notice anymore that this is a dream, and he doesn't miss his reality. He doesn't miss the pain, the wasted opportunities, the mistakes made on all sides, the stress and the tension. Charlie's smiles and Mako's easy laughter are too good to give up, and Stacker's gentle touches make him feel at home in a way he had almost forgotten. And then there are Luna's freely given hugs and Tamsin's friendly nudges and the easy banter, and Herc knows this could be home. He loves it that Tamsin and Luna come by so often, eat dinner with them or take Charlie and Mako out to the beach for surfing and kayaking. This is how he would have loved to live.

It's on Friday evening, when Herc's sitting on the steps of the back porch again with a beer in his hand, that he first thinks about the fact that he has absolutely no idea how long he's already in this drift. He's reasonably sure that it's quite a while, and he wonders what consequences it has on his body. He can't stay here forever, even if he'd like to, he knows that. Everybody back in reality relies on him to find out what's going on with Stacker, and they expect him to come back to them. He can't escape into this world, never mind that he loves it and doesn't want to give it up. He has responsibilities, after all.

Herc leans against the handrail and lets his breath escape in a deep sigh. He's watching Charlie and Mako play badminton down on the beach, and it makes him smile. As far as he can tell, Mako is kicking Charlie's arse, and the boy doesn't like it at all. Well, he'd better get focussed, or she's going to win. 

Herc closes his eyes and tries to picture his Chuck and Mako, their adult selves, play badminton. He can't, and it makes him sad beyond words. He opens his eyes and sighs again.

"What are you brooding about?" Stacker asks from somewhere behind him before he sits down in Herc's back and pulls him close. For a moment Herc feels as if the breath is squeezed out of him by the sheer pain of the knowledge that he'll never be able to share this life with Stacker _for real_. That it's nothing but a fantasy, a fantasy that he finds he wants _so much_ to be true.

"Nothing. Just thinking." Herc replies quietly after a second or two that he needs to regain his composure. He doesn't want to tell Stacker that this isn't real. It's right then that he knows that he doesn't have the heart to destroy this beautiful world that Stacker dreamed up. It may never be real for Herc, but it's real for Stacker, right now, right here, and that's a precious gift that Herc would never destroy. He's generally for telling the truth, but not when it causes more pain than good. In this case, it wouldn't do any good, it would _only_ cause pain. It's not worth it.

"Thinking about what?" Stacker rests his chin on Herc's shoulder. His warmth against Herc's back feels comfortable and cosy, and Herc wishes they had more time for moments like this in reality.

"How quickly time passes. How much things change." Herc replies after a moment of silence, then he slowly nods in the direction of Mako and Charlie. "Look at them now, they're young and innocent. But how quickly can that be destroyed? How quickly will they grow up - we turn around just once and suddenly find that their childhood is already over? That we missed it?"

Stacker is quiet for a long time, he's obviously thinking about what Herc just said. His hands are drawing a mindless pattern on the fabric of Herc's t-shirt where they're wrapped loosely around his waist, and Herc finds it somehow soothing. "You're right, time passes quickly. But I think we're doing the right thing by spending as much time with our children as we can, by making sure that they know we love them. The best we can do for them is to give them roots as well as wings. Make sure they're strong, decent people who do what's right."

"True." Herc leans back against Stacker and lets his head fall back until it comes to rest on Stacker's shoulder. "Maybe I'm just afraid that they'll grow up faster than I'm ready to let them go."

"You're not the only one." Stacker admits, his voice heavy with something that could be sadness as well as resignation. "But that's the job parents have to do. Allow their children to grow and let them go when they're ready, never mind if we are."

Herc doesn't reply because he has no words. What Stacker said is absolutely true, and he's known it for a long time, but that doesn't make it any easier. Having this second chance with Charlie made Herc think about what he can do to make things right with his Chuck. A first step would probably be to actually wake up from this drift at some point, Herc thinks with a tinge of self-deprecation.

"We'll make do, Herc." Stacker continues after a long moment of silence. "We always do."

"I know." Herc settles his hands over Stacker's that are still wrapped around his middle and entwines their fingers. There's this urge to be close to Stacker, as close as he can possibly be.

"I love you, you know that?" Stacker breathes into his ear, his voice dark and rough in that way that Herc loves so much, and then his lips press a gentle kiss to the skin behind Herc's ear. Herc squeezes his eyes shut and forces his breath to stay even, to not betray his inner turmoil.

Oh god, he doesn't want to leave here. He doesn't care if it's real or if it's just imagined, he'd take this world over reality any time. It's a chance to do things better, to never make all those mistakes he made with Chuck the first time round. It's a chance to have a family again, with Stacker, Charlie and Mako, and Tamsin and Luna who he's grown really fond of even after this short time. 

It's a chance to be happy.

But it's not real. And he'll hurt Chuck, _his Chuck_ , so much if he gets lost in this drift. And Mako too. He'd be taking their parents from them again, after they'd just lost and found them. He would cause grief, so much grief and pain. It would be selfish, and Herc is sure that he'll kill himself and Stacker in the process. Nobody can survive in a drift forever. 

"It's time for me to wake up." Herc says firmly and turns so that he can look Stacker in the eye. He has a point to make. "Promise me that you'll follow me when you're ready."

"I promise." There's something like understanding in Stacker's eyes, but Herc is not sure how much he really gets. It's enough to understand that this is important, and Herc knows Stacker won't break his word, not even when he's dreaming. 

And just like that reality washes over him like a wave. Herc's eyes snap open and he takes a deep breath. The air smells wrong, artificial and oily, not like the sand and the ocean. The sounds are the buzzing of electronics and the voices of people instead of the gentle rush of the waves on the beach and the screams of the seagulls. It brings Herc back into the here and now faster than anything else could have. 

"Herc, are you okay?" Caitlin asks from where she's standing next to the bed, her gaze worried as well as relieved.

Herc finds that his throat is raw and his voice is not quite working, so he just nods.

"Ready to disengage neural handshake?" Newt shouts over from somewhere out of Herc's range of vision, and Herc nods again. Only a second later he feels the bridge disappear, the connection shifting from the clarity of the drift to the much more muted feeling of the ghost drift. Stacker is still there, steady and strong, and it calms Herc.

Caitlin hands Herc a glass of water, and he downs half of it in one go before he feels capable of speaking. "How long was I out?"

"Almost sixteen hours." Caitlin replies and takes the glass from him. "How do you feel?"

Herc takes a moment to think about that because he's not quite sure. "Exhausted, but otherwise I'm fine."

It's not quite true. He's exhausted, yes, but he's also hurting somewhere deep inside. He needs to be alone, he needs time to think. He wants to get out of the lab as quickly as possible, he can't face their questions right now. Yet he knows that he'll have to give at least a minimum of information, or Caitlin and Newton will follow him to make sure he's okay. Or worse, they'll send Mako or Chuck.

"How is Stacker?" Caitlin eyes him attentively, and Herc is sure she knows something is up.

"He's all right." Herc can't keep his gaze from flickering over to Stacker's still form. He feels his insides clench, and the memories of the drift dream threaten to overwhelm him. Herc takes a deep breath, trying to get a grip on his emotions. "Let him take a bit more time. He's in a good place. He'll come back when he's ready."

Caitlin nods, the expression in her eyes curious but also understanding. "Why don't you rest for a while and come back afterwards to tell us about your drift? I'm sure it's easier when you've had a moment to recharge."

"What? But-" Newton starts to protest, but Caitlin cuts him off resolutely. 

"Later is fine. We have enough data to process for now, we can keep busy for a few hours." Her tone is sharp, and even Newton seems to get that she won't tolerate one more word of protest. 

Herc is incredibly grateful for her insight, and he smiles at her, willing her to see his gratitude. "Thanks, Caitlin. I'll be back in a few hours."

Her hand comes up and gently squeezes his shoulder. "Take all the time you need. We're here whenever you're ready."

Herc nods and gets up off the hospital bed. Caitlin takes the squiddy and the sensors off and then pushes him towards the exit. Herc resists, looking back at Stacker. Caitlin just gives him a smile. "Don't worry, Herc, he's fine. I'll take care of him, he'll get back to the med bay right away."

Herc hesitates for another moment, then he thanks her again and hurries out of the lab. He feels like he's about to explode with all the bottled-up tension. He just so makes it to the office that's really Stacker's. When the door closes behind him, Herc bends over as if in pain, his breath shudders and he has to squeeze his eyes shut against the tears he feels burning. It's like a punch to his stomach. He feels like he really lost them, Charlie, Stacker, Mako, Tamsin, Luna. Their life, their home, their family. 

He hurts so badly, for all the things he saw Stacker secretly long for and that he will never get. Simple but impossible things that tell him so much more about Stacker than he already knew. Herc feels like he got to see a side of Stacker that Stacker himself might not even consciously know, because he never allows himself to want those things. Because he's too much of a realist, because he doesn't chase dreams that are impossible. 

Luna is dead. Tamsin is dead. They will never return. Mako and Chuck are how the world made them, they can never have the happy childhood Stacker wishes for them, that time has long since passed. There's no sense in hoping for it.

But still, Stacker wants it. Wants it so much that the scenario his mind made up for him to heal in is exactly that impossible world. And he won't even remember it.

The pain is so intense that Herc has to lean heavily against the wall to not end up on the floor. It was just a dream, he tells himself again and again, but that doesn't help at all. He remembers it as clearly as if it was real, and he can't believe that he'll be the only one to remember it. He can't believe that neither Chuck nor Mako will know that world, and that Stacker will have forgotten about it as soon as he wakes. The pain of knowing that this perfect world will be lost is almost unbearable. He will be the only one to remember it, and he doesn't know how to deal with that.

The one thing he's sure of is that he can't go back, that he won't drift with Stacker again until he wakes. Partly because he's afraid that the next time he drifts with Stacker, the dream might be a different one. The other, much bigger part of him fears that he won't be able to let go if he gets to live in that perfect world again. That he won't want to wake up. He's not entirely sure what that means for the drift, but he's certain it would be fatal. He can't take that risks. He's not only endangering his own life, after all.

He should be grateful that he got a glimpse of this beautiful world, he should not mourn it. He got to meet Charlie again, the little boy he lost with Angie's death, and for a short time he had Mako as a daughter. He was given time with Tamsin who he's missed for years, and he had the chance to meet Luna. He was allowed to see Stacker happy and relaxed, to feel what it would have been like to have a family with him. A real family that's not split and hurt by the Kaiju. It's a gift, and he will treasure it. 

Herc takes a deep breath, trying to rein in the pain that's still churning in his stomach. Then he rises, pushes away from the wall he's been leaning against. He wipes his hand across if face, and his fingers come away dry. He straightens, falls back into the comforting routine of the Ranger that has served him well for so long. 

Now the time for dreams is over, he has duties to fulfil. Stacker trusts him to be a good Marshal, so that's what he'll do.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this fic is long, even by my standards. Much love and effort went into it (while I'm actually moving from one side of the country to the other), so you'd make me very happy with a wee comment! Thanks ^_^


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